My friends Sarah and Lauren are responsible for the creation of this post, but not the content. They were recently amused by my strongly-expressed opinions about food and suggested that they would read that on a blog. So, not wanting to withhold amusement, here are a few of my most dearly held food opinions.
All meat, and most other foods, taste better when cooked over open flame. All things cooked over open flame taste better if that fire is fueled by Mesquite wood. This is an objective fact in West Texas.
Hamburger joints that don’t ask how you want your burger cooked are doing it wrong. If they don’t have an option with barbecue sauce, bacon and cheddar, they are also doing it wrong. If they serve steak fries, they get a bonus. If they serve sweet potato fries, they get a double bonus. If they cook over fire (see above), they earn a special place in Heaven. If they do all of these things, I’m loyal for life.
Almost everything savory can be improved by bacon. Amen.
There is not, in my experience, a wrong way to make cobbler–unless it’s not sweet enough or too sweet, but that’s pretty hard to do. Or unless, of course, you make cobbler with cherries, which is perfectly absurd. There are just good ways–which involve pie crust–and the best way–which involves a sort of biscuity top. Similarly, there’s not exactlya wrong way to serve cobbler, but if you really love the people you’re serving, you’ll put a scoop of homemade (or Bluebell or similar) vanilla ice cream on top of a piping-hot bowl of cobbler. If you love them a little less, you might offer whipped cream, but that would nearly always be a mistake.
There is a right and wrong way to make pecan pie. There is also a right and wrong way to say pecan. Puh-KAHN, people. Say it with me. Any other pronunciation is illegal. I can’t actually detail the wrong ways to make pecan pie because I don’t know what goes into those recipes. The right way involves dark and light Karo syrup, chopped pecans and a generous sprinkle of cinnamon-sugar on top. It also should be served with ice cream, but you have to let the pie cool first or it won’t set up right.
Any baking recipe that requires buttermilk is automatically better than any similar recipe that does not.
Too-tall frosting on cupcakes is wrong because people don’t like getting frosting on their noses. No one should be forced to get frosting on her nose!
If you’ve never eaten a combination of berries and fresh basil, your life is incomplete.
American cheese is only tolerable in certain sauces.
If you have food opinions, please share!